KIDDO, LET'S GO.

I don’t think there is anything better than waking up next to someone and feeling that first emotion of a smile. Knowing that this person you wake up next to is a better half of you than you even know. For 3 years I’ve been waking up next to me. I greet myself with a smile and know that today, today it’s me with the world.

This is a little memo to myself, so bare with me as I kick my own ass into touch for the next 500 words.

Kiddo, when will you learn that you are allowed to make bad decisions? You are allowed to fuck up. Simple. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be that girl that has created a path of infinite adventurous opportunities that get you out of bed every morning. If you broke it, you sure bought it but let that souvenir remind you that, you should not do it again. So stop. Respect yourself to let things go that don’t make you happy, and if by some divine luck you’re able to change that, then trust your gut to know that you’re not pulling the wool over your own eyes.

Find routine. You’re not superman. You need to know when to stop and let the air touch your face. So get out of bed god dammit, 6am is when some people start work, and you should find that time as yours. Be quiet and be still, reflect on the day that’s about to embrace you and then, get your growing butt into gym. Sweat it out and feel that burn, you know how good you feel when you walk out of that muscle infested space. You feel alive. Give that to yourself - there is only one you. And I’d prefer it if you had a hot ass. Thanks.

My love, it’s time to get rid of the bad relationships in your life. You don’t deserve to suffer for the sake of someone else’s lack of vision. You will never be able to change them, they’re selfishly intertwined in their own life and the reason they keep taking you down with them is because you allow them. Stop this, it’s ruining you. You deserve a team mate, not an opposition. You deserve a best friend with a great penis, not an asshole with the right moves. You deserve someone that wants to be with you, every minute, not the guy that finds you 20 people down his WhatsApp list. Please be kind to your heart, and ditch the frown that once had a smile. When you laugh you make the world a happier place, I want to hear it more often.

Stop spending money on memories that last an hour. Start spending your money on memories that you can look back on as life experience. It’s silly really. Ok, maybe you do need a new pair of heels, but that’s because you live in Joburg and heels look good on you and when you look good, you are happy. Spend a little money on happiness. But put some away too, you’re healthy kid but you might not always be so, just think ahead.

Learn to prioritise your friendships. You have such a wonderful gift of making new friends, start following up with them. You have no reason to feel lonely. Check that contact list, gurl you got a lot of friends in there that may not be thinking about you all the time but sure would love to hear about your life in excuse for a glass of wine. We’re all just as scared of each other - break that ice and pour him/her another one.

And lastly, love your family. Yes, they’re a bunch of hooligans and yes, they’re not perfect. But nobody has a perfect family. You didn’t turn out too badly so they must have done something right. Call your Dad. Often. He’s not going to call you, remember you left, you need to keep him in the loop. He’s not around forever babe, he needs you, even for a laugh it’s reminding you where you came from. Get that head back down to earth please.

So Miss AdailyJem, You think you heard what I have to say this time? Live a life that makes you feel alive, the minute you start to doubt a decision, get the hell up and run. Run into the arms of a handsome stranger, and only let go when you feel you can feel that head of ours rationalise a dodgy situation. You’ve got this, we’ve got this. Now wake up!

One, Two, Twee - Day 205

Well hello humans, big and small. How are you feeling about this looming day of acknowledging this lack of love in your life? Fear not, I have a plan. A plan so devious that it will knock sadness right out of your hearts and replace it with fluttering feelings only a first love can resurface.

It might seem hard at first, but if you trust me, the fourteenth day of the second month will forever be transformed as the day you truly felt an overwhelming love for yourself. "Ahhh..", you say, "this girl is trying to get me to forget how badly I want a pair of strong arms wrapped around me. That the tears on my pillow will only dry up when I receive my special delivery of red petals. Dear silly girl writing this, how am I supposed to forget a day so commercially driven by needing love, by simply just loving myself?"

Just like you, I have had my heart tickled like a puppies tummy and boy, did it feel good. It's also been abandoned, bruised, terrified and broken. Yet somehow, over time all I can seem to remember are the good feelings. I look not longingly at couples walking down the street engrossed in their fluttery feelings but stare more at the wonder of "I've had that".

Like soppy, sunlight soap this post is probably making you feel like I am about to tell you to do a chore. Ha ha! Surprise!

I am.

Here's what I need you to do this Valenshmimes day, in no particular order (just do it ok?):

1. Wake up with the sun. 
A new day is born every. single. day. You don't see the Sun going, "Oh well nobody loves me therefore I shan't shine upon you earthlings." The sun rises, it shines and it spreads joy on every soul it touches. This is your first mission. Show a little shine on someone that needs it.

2. Put some spark on that dial.
Get up, get dressed, put on your most "you" outfit. Crank that music up and dance around the house like a mad woman. Wiggle that bum until the pure dorkiness makes you giggle to the floor. Happy humans are hard to break. Believeeeedat!

3. Prepare a love breakfast
Forget the diet, bring out the strawberries, dollop on that Marscopone, spread the syrup and flip those flapjacks! If your kitchen is in a state of unrelentless repair, take a walk down to your favourite restaurant. Ask for a table for one. Reassure the waiter, that yes, it's a table for O-N-E. Order indulgently. Breath in the solo time and think only happy thoughts. It's about time you took yourself on a date.

4. Compliments count
When we are bursting with joy we can't help but spread the love. Pick up that phone, call your gran, call a crush and wish him a happy day. That's all. A simple hearty gesture. (lol)

5. Flowers are for all occasions 
I say red roses are just ridiculous. The mark up on the price of petals just because it happens to be a commercially driven day is outrageous. I like daffodils anyhow. Buy yourself some flowers and place them where you can admire them, and if someone asks… "My secret admirer gave them to me, myself."

6. It's wine time. 
Pick a handful of people that mean the most to you, the ones that fill you with joy. Invite them over to your house and pop open that bottle of bubbly. It's time to celebrate being the most awesome and unique individuals that you are. Your task for the evening: Go around the room and say one thing about each other that you love the most. Queue the giggles and enjoy the reminiscence of being you.


I am a big advocate of self love. It's the simplest but hardest thing to get right in our existence. God knows it's taken me years! This simple to-do list is pretty much my checklist for everyday, yes there are days I need to work harder at it (like said day) but it's become such a way of life for me now that I can honestly say I truly love every inch of who I am.

So tell me, how can you celebrate being you this Valentines day? And if you are snuggled tight to an other half, (you lucky little human you) how can you show them that, you, this human sitting next to him, is pretty much the most awesome being he'll ever meet?

Go fourth and spread love. All, over, your, self.

Happy Valentine's Day!

A new, NEW year! - Day 170ish

Hello 2014, when did you sneak in so quickly?

I love NEW, anything sparkly and unknown. I love the new in a new year and even more the soul searching brightness of new resolutions. I like it the best that we get to start the new in the middle of summer. Feeling fresh and fit.  I mean, isn't looking forward to a newness in anything just the best? It makes me even happier when I look back at the old and find a new perspective, "Hey Chick, (I like to tell myself) check out all the cool stuff that your mind conjured up, look where your heart travelled to and look where it is now. I recon you've done well babe."

For the first new year in many, I can say I have a clean slate. I've dusted off the baggage, worked through the mind mess and well, here I am. As sparkly and new as the new year itself. I normally have a knack of starting the new year with goals and resolutions that are tangible and easy to accomplish. But this year I started it off with a bigger picture, full of how I would like to see my life live. Most of the things I have presented to the universe are completely out of my control but I know are guided by Mr Upstairs. I have a full feeling of excitement and motivation this time around.

Last night after settling down into my beautiful Joburg apartment after a full two weeks in my Durban home, I challenged myself to not write down goals but words in which at the end of this year I would like to see describe how it went.

ADVENTURE, LOVE and SUCCESS were the three wordies that I see defining my 2014. I am not completely attached to the manner in which they manifest but I guess, that's really not up to me is it?

I challenge you with a simple word goal for your very own 2014. What words would you like to have described your year?

I don't think a strong belief in the workings of manifestation is needed, I think that what we want for our lives can come in many forms and whatever we call them; prayer, sun salutes, dancing naked in the rain, they all funnel into the same objective. The bottom line is, starting the year off with a positive and strong intention is the first stepping stone that we can take to motivate ourselves. Your every action is a reaction to a thought prompted by some divine subconscious goal you have set for yourself. Nothing is coincidence. You made it happen all on your very own.

So here's me wishing you a very smiley, warm 2014. May it be the best one you can imagine it to be!

I got it from my mama

You don’t truly appreciate your mom until you reach that age of true self-reflection. It’s not an age per se but a turning point in your life when you can look at yourself and see your mothers strength, compassion, will and determination inside of you. It’s those days you go without speaking, or a happy happening that makes you turn around and realise, all you want to say is: “I love you mom, thank you”.

This daily dears is a post about what my mother has taught me, through all the kicking and screaming I think I finally understand why the lessons she threw at me now make sense.

Gratitude
Count your blessings every night before you go to bed. List the laughs and good times from the tips of your toes to the clouds above. In a moment of sadness or when grief fills your heart, count. Watch the good, give the hand to the bad and see yourself weightless.

Manifest
If you don’t ask, you shall not receive. The universe is an AMAZING (yes, I’ll shout this one) void of gifts. Every worry, self doubt, complicated thought is heard. And it’s not what you want it to hear. Think big, feel what you want in this world, from a new pair of slips slops to a shiny new car. The universe is listening, it’s just figuring out a way to get it to you without being so obvious.

Listen
This is a classic mother moment for me, “Listen to your body, Jemma”. Being a rebellious teenager the last thing you want to do is figure out the wrong from the right. The peer pressure path is being lead and you want to follow. Stop. We are born with a super power called Intuition, use it. Just because your BFF is clip clopping down a diamond path doesn’t mean you are wearing the same shoes. Ask yourself: Does this feel right? Will it make a difference to my life? And most of all is this experience going to grow me?

Shine
Everyday the sun rises with the same shine, the clouds might get in her the way or wind might dull her warmth but without fault, she rises again to face another day as brightly as before. It’s not your clothes, your fancy hair-do or your Sensodyne smile that people notice, it’s the light that shines from within. Step out into everyday with a sparkle, there will be cloudy moments and windy days but as long as you keep that light burning bright you’ll make it through.

Be Mindful
Everyone is trying to find a purpose to their day; it’s not your place to be sticking your nose into their business. Us peeps are complicated creatures; we all have our own way of going about our daily scrabble. If you don’t like the way someone is doing something, mush. Don’t interfere. Respect thy neighbour’s space and practise the same manners in which they treat you. Return what is borrowed and, “For God’s sake child, leave the space in which you found it.”

Stay Positive
Be a plus not a minus. Every little thing in life happens for a reason. You have heard it a gazillion trillion times, and that’s why, because it’s true. If you can do at least one great thing in your day, it’s a good day. No matter what stresses, worries, (warts and all) consume your martyred soul – find delight in a piece of cake or a stranger’s smile. Life is way to short dwell in self-pity.

I love you Mom, Thank you.  

Ameezing, fashion, happiness

Did you know that there are blogs out there that are purely for the benefit of a good heart-warming sesh? These three blogs are what I like to call my daily outings from the world of brands and SM (Social Media), little pieces of adventure that occupy my morning coffee. Bookmark, tag them and tab them - these posts of prettiness (and awkwardness and real life dramas and fashion fantasies and creative passion) are to be your best friends. Forever.

1. Ameezing

This is Camilla, and this is her All Things AMEEZING blog. Gosh what I wouldn't be able to accomplish if I didn't have a piece of her life to start off my day. She writes in real time all the way from the bottom of her sometimes aching heart to the tips of her daily doing shoes. Each post is so delicately put together, you'll need to make a cup of tea, call the cat on your lap and savor up every vowel. In my words, amazing.
http://ameezing.wordpress.com/


2. Happiness is...

This may or may not be one of my best friends, and I promise I am not going to be biased but I also have to say that I will be. Dear Fathima, Happiness is… you. Thank you for fulling up those lonely moments of red wine with bits of creative deliciousness to nibble on. From lovelies around the web, (she does know the www backwards), to delectable scribbles of your magic pencil. These are some of the things in life I couldn't life without. Oh, and how could I forget those feline pets you call cats. I love them. I love this blog. ps. Look out for her in this month's SA Fairlady mag. Girl! You got published!
http://happinessisat.blogspot.com/


3. The Cherry Blossom Girl

The first time I laid eyes on this fashion fantasy was back in 2009, it was a "I think you might like this" from my dear ex-colleague Miss One Day Box's Megan Douglas. This "I think you might like" turned into "I think I LOVE!", opening my blogging heart to yet another inspirational world wide webber. Alix is my most favorite fashion bloggers to date, it's not just the envy of the items she posses but more the envy of the whimsical manner in which she presents them. To her, fashion becomes a daydream brought to life. A daydream I dream with almost every sip.
http://www.thecherryblossomgirl.com/

You deserve better Valentine

I have to admit that I am kinda getting into the Valentine's Day feeling - it may or may not have to do with a little Valentine's gift I might've received so beautifully wrapped in an antique box *swoon over vintage* from someone that I don't really know that well, but could possibly get to know better. So with that, I have decided that I am going to share with you my most favourite prints of all time. Switch on that silly feeling and prepare for some ultimate nerdy love.

So I am guessing by the time you get to about HERE you are wanting these pinned up all over your wall in fancy frames to accompany your vintage/spca finds, am I right?

Greeting Cards and limited edition prints available at: etsy.com/shop/nicolai007
Posters available at society6.com/NerdyDirty

Very-Not-Cool Day

Valentine's Day, hey? I don't think I have ever been so fully aware of how this day could make me feel like the ONLY single person on earth.

First of all, this is the first year that I have been totally consumed with Social Media, and with that comes days like tomorrow, totally over tweeted, loved up statuses and not so avoidable polls. What's even more depressing is that I too have to come up with some of that soppy love crap that is saturating your News Feeds. Tres Desole my single friends.

Then secondly, there is working in an office that is literally in a shopping centre. I have had to re-route my lunch time walk to Spar to avoid such things as red lacy bits slapping me in the face at every turn. My chocolate cravings have turned into "urg" moments as the "I Love You" slogans have just put me off and I won't even talk about the fashion; half those shades of red DO NOT EVEN EXSIST!

What exactly am I going to do about tomorrow? I am so un-desperately single, but so desperately aware of it I wish I could hire a few extra heart beats for the night. However, it is just ONE day. One day of the year that a male is actually allowed to show his romantic side, and all this love merchandise it suppose to make it easier for him to choose his love status. (Hi, Guys - that not-so-sexy T-string in a slightly off shade of orange/red is not a good way to ask for some. Hint: Roses are your best deal sealers.)

So, do I give you honeymooners a chance at enjoying this day? Will I listen to some Whitney (RIP), buy a box of totally cliche heart shaped chocolates and promise myself that I won't be single next year on this day, for the sake of doing it alone again? Yes I shall. Please, enjoy it, get some, use protection and fall in love. Urg.

Until next year... Ou revoir!

10 THINGS I LEARNT IN JANUARY 

1. Overcame a break up (and survived)

2. Learnt that saving money is VERY important for those times of need e.g. End of a LOOONG month.

3. Friends are like diamonds. Very rare, extremely pretty and are valuable in times of need, especially when you’re ready to sell your soul. (However they do sometimes prevent you from doing such things).

4. This is not the month to start your resolutions … at least there are 11 months left!

5. Nothing is more special than spending a day with your mom. Moms ROCK! They too can enjoy
things that young ones do. E.g. Ride a bike on the promenade. GO MOM!

6. This is the best time of the year, sunshine, long days, and a car with no aircon to soak it all up in. (Literally, sweat = yuck.)

7. I do love my job.

8. Books are so much better than TV

9. New Years are for risks, I dyed my hair, totes getting another tattoo and maybe skinny dip somewhere!

10. Don’t look for LOVE when you aren’t ready. It won’t come and you will end up attracting them dodgy fellows. (Sorry dodgy fellows, but you are rather dodgy.)

Oh February, the month of ♡. Just be kind please.

Spotted: LOVE

I snapped this picture a while ago in my little hometown of Kloof. I guess the cool kids of the block wanted to spread some love, as 'heart' tags started popping up on every STOP sign in town.
I don't quite know what this sign intended to mean, but this is what I think:

A) Someone is reaching out for a little bit of attention that they are not getting at home and they only angry way to say this is: STOP LOVE.

B) As I am a bit of a romantic I read it like this. STOP. LOVE is here.

What do you think it means?

Friday you biscuit!

There are Fridays, then there are FRIDAYS! Today is one of those fan-flippen-tastic days of the week. I hope that yours is the bestest and the mostest, and makes you feel as fabulous as it is making me feel. Just for some inspiration here is a great pic I just had to click upon. Doesn't it just make you wanna hug somebody? Love somebody? Disappear to a foreign land with somebody? Ahhh yes... Have a G R E AT weekend! xxx

Glambox!

Our office first felt the Glambox experience a couple of months ago when the poor courier guy walked into a screeching giggle of girls. "Glambox!", "Our Glambox is here!", "Glamboxeeeeee". It was honestly the most intriguing, scary and all at the same time, most jealous experience I have ever witnessed. What is this Glambox, you screech of? Then there right in front of my eyes, I beheld the sheer beauty of tiny little glamsicles in a pretty pink box.

What is a Glambox?


Glambox is the brain child of beauty and online experts that have also been in the frustrating world of product envy. They know what it's like to feel overwhelmed with the sheer quantity of products and brands that all paw at our attention.

It was created to help us sort through the clutter of phony brands, find new ones and rediscover old favourites. It is the ideal way to find products and brands that work best for our individual needs, especially when they are cheap enough to experimenting with.

So how do you get your titivating talons on a Glambox?


Become a member at Glambox. Submit your delivery details, make payment and complete your beauty profile. Then each month, you'll receive a variety of 4-5 samples that have been picked directly from the beauty experts themselves. You'll receive anything from skincare and makeup to cult beauty tools, from well-known brands as well as emerging gems.

So for a little insight into the world of the beauty obsessed, I have just the sneak peak for you... (Many thanks to one of the lovely ladies in the office that wrapped hers up just so you could all awe in its glamorousness) 

THE GLAMBOX EXPERIENCE 

Appaloosa

Don't you just love it when you find yourself a field of horses! Oh, for the LOVE of horses. 

a HEART of hair

I just adore hairstyles. Updos, side plaits, front plaits, puffs, ponytails and beachy locks. Everyday is a challenge to create a fun style that will walk me through my day. I have long blonde, dead straight hair, which frankly defines me and I love it. Long hair is versatile. It is fun, you can whip it back and fourth on the dance floor or let it elegantly flow down your back at a fancy do. Side plaits become easy and updos become more interesting. I have been to the bob, it was a crazy time, but thankfully I am back to Miss mermaid and can't wait to give these creative styles a go.

The "OH SHIT" Moment

So I have given up using the word love.

It gets you into trouble and generally tricks your mind into actually feeling it. I have loved. I have loved in many different ways. I think the worst kind of love is obligated love – the kind you just say for the sake of saying. Not to let the other person down or thinking that it is love, an over bearing sensation of lust.

The best kind of love is unexpected love. At the end of a telephone conversation that just pops out "love you", or at a surprised gift "oh my god I love you". Doesn’t it always seem these unexpected ‘loves’ are all said to the wrong person. A crush that did something out of the kindness of his own heart(not because he loves you, or that you would want him to know you love him), or the guy friend you not that interested in. This I like to call ‘blind love’, you know the kind that makes you think ‘oh how blind’.

So with that feeling of ‘how blind’, lets talk how blind I am and how ‘in like’ my blindness is. Have you ever ‘liked’ someone without knowing it and suddenly this thought daunts on you and you are like ‘oh my god, I like him. No, I really, really like him. This is terrible!’. A ‘like’ that could never work but just seems to, work. I am astounded to have found myself in this situation.

One week after a break up and I am in deep, ‘like’. Call it shit if you will, but this feeling has the same comparison to that. So this person. This person that was nobody to me has turned into a somebody. From a Hi Tek takkie to a 5 All star. Do you think this happens often? That a nobody that sits in the corner to be regarded as a wall flower can come out to actually be that somebody that you really, really like? I don’t want to make him seem like a dork, and by a nobody I mean an untouchable – the type of person you would never think to really notice for the sake of your present somebody to notice you noticing that nobody. You see it is even that complicated in my mind, even if I were using names it would be just as complicated.

This is school book ‘like’. A silly infatuation that, will not go away! So quick out a ‘grown up’ relationship and I am already feeling those ill feelings of: does he like me? Do I tell him? Do I wait? Has he even noticed me like that? Or as a friend always said to me, “give it time and that too shall pass”. URGGGH!!! Two glasses of wine and Eat.Pray.Love shall do this to you. I need help.

You Are Not In Highschool Anymore

Have you ever noticed that the older you get the less fun relationships are?

When you are young you cant drive, you don’t have a bank account with things to pay off. You get pocket money and can basically live a stress free life. Regarded school exams aren’t around the corner. Relationships become your weekends and without even knowing it you can fall effortlessly in love. All you know is the fun and romance and when it comes down to making the decisions, which movie to see is the toughest one you have to make.

So when did the ease and free flowing love intercept us and replace those feelings with responsibility? When did talking till three in the morning become a hushed “where are you going?” when I take the dog out? And when did that accidental boob graze that got us so hot and bothered get replaced with “ I’ve got a headache?” It seems as though we have tainted our own desires and the effort to grow up so fast has left us with gaps in our relationships.

My advice to myself, and to anyone that will listen, is taking it slow. Enjoy the honeymoon phase and if you respect your relationship as much as your happiness to be in a relationship you could see that honeymoon phase last. Being in love and sharing your life with another person is probably the most amazing gift that could be given to anyone. Appreciate every bit. Take days off to forget those payments, your ugly boss and go have a “ to be sixteen again day”. Hold hands, go watch a movie, hey find a playground and jump in a sandpit. Only through true happiness you will find your true self. Remember that guy that you first met, that blew you away with his smile? He is still there.