KIDDO, LET'S GO.

I don’t think there is anything better than waking up next to someone and feeling that first emotion of a smile. Knowing that this person you wake up next to is a better half of you than you even know. For 3 years I’ve been waking up next to me. I greet myself with a smile and know that today, today it’s me with the world.

This is a little memo to myself, so bare with me as I kick my own ass into touch for the next 500 words.

Kiddo, when will you learn that you are allowed to make bad decisions? You are allowed to fuck up. Simple. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be that girl that has created a path of infinite adventurous opportunities that get you out of bed every morning. If you broke it, you sure bought it but let that souvenir remind you that, you should not do it again. So stop. Respect yourself to let things go that don’t make you happy, and if by some divine luck you’re able to change that, then trust your gut to know that you’re not pulling the wool over your own eyes.

Find routine. You’re not superman. You need to know when to stop and let the air touch your face. So get out of bed god dammit, 6am is when some people start work, and you should find that time as yours. Be quiet and be still, reflect on the day that’s about to embrace you and then, get your growing butt into gym. Sweat it out and feel that burn, you know how good you feel when you walk out of that muscle infested space. You feel alive. Give that to yourself - there is only one you. And I’d prefer it if you had a hot ass. Thanks.

My love, it’s time to get rid of the bad relationships in your life. You don’t deserve to suffer for the sake of someone else’s lack of vision. You will never be able to change them, they’re selfishly intertwined in their own life and the reason they keep taking you down with them is because you allow them. Stop this, it’s ruining you. You deserve a team mate, not an opposition. You deserve a best friend with a great penis, not an asshole with the right moves. You deserve someone that wants to be with you, every minute, not the guy that finds you 20 people down his WhatsApp list. Please be kind to your heart, and ditch the frown that once had a smile. When you laugh you make the world a happier place, I want to hear it more often.

Stop spending money on memories that last an hour. Start spending your money on memories that you can look back on as life experience. It’s silly really. Ok, maybe you do need a new pair of heels, but that’s because you live in Joburg and heels look good on you and when you look good, you are happy. Spend a little money on happiness. But put some away too, you’re healthy kid but you might not always be so, just think ahead.

Learn to prioritise your friendships. You have such a wonderful gift of making new friends, start following up with them. You have no reason to feel lonely. Check that contact list, gurl you got a lot of friends in there that may not be thinking about you all the time but sure would love to hear about your life in excuse for a glass of wine. We’re all just as scared of each other - break that ice and pour him/her another one.

And lastly, love your family. Yes, they’re a bunch of hooligans and yes, they’re not perfect. But nobody has a perfect family. You didn’t turn out too badly so they must have done something right. Call your Dad. Often. He’s not going to call you, remember you left, you need to keep him in the loop. He’s not around forever babe, he needs you, even for a laugh it’s reminding you where you came from. Get that head back down to earth please.

So Miss AdailyJem, You think you heard what I have to say this time? Live a life that makes you feel alive, the minute you start to doubt a decision, get the hell up and run. Run into the arms of a handsome stranger, and only let go when you feel you can feel that head of ours rationalise a dodgy situation. You’ve got this, we’ve got this. Now wake up!

Future steps - Day 17

A recent conversation with a friend got me thinking about my future. Your future. 

As human beings, human livings, human doings, we have this constant refresh button in our minds that recalculate after every step. When we move forward, where are we moving to? What's the next BIG experience that we are about to discover? It's all such scarily unknown territory but we move forward, towards it anyway.

My friend is in constant recalculation of his future. Every step he takes is in a positive direction, but then his mind stalls for that split second to reassure himself that, "Is this really the right direction I am moving forward to?". 

I blame this type of thinking on the over ambitious lives we lead. The constant media that shows us flashy things, driving us to be more accomplished. Unfiltered adverts of you WANT this, but at the next corner its no, you NEED this. Our upscale of thought is also generated by the company and conversations we surround ourselves in. 

I have now been in Joburg for two weeks and already the here, now, be in the moment thinking is fast forwarding to the next big thing. Yeah, sure I am here. Two feet on the ground behind a desk groomed with Social Media. Creating copy for every brand imaginable. Selling lifestyles, putting the choices in your wallet for your next grocery shop. But distantly future altering moments pop into my head - that age old question of, "Where to next?"

As far as I am concerned, there are only two choices that we have control of in our life: To do or to don't. 

Our future is governed not by our capabilities but by our will. I look at my friend who has all the capabilities in the world an a will as strong as the wind. But with any will it's about filtering out all of life's grabbing hands and thinking clearly about the next steps. Blinkering out the screaming crowd and focusing on the finish line and having the will to do so. 

My mini goal solution is the only way to feel like we have control of our forward moving steps. Little stepping stones of experiences and analyzing them at each goal post. It's impossible to full speed ahead without becoming fatigued and overwhelmed, and often we lose sight of the here and now behind the big rush. 

You know, life is funny in the way that it will pop up these thought provoking experiences just to make you come back down to earth and breath. Listen to these moments of life insight, or what I like to call, Life In Sight. If you have a million things you see yourself doing in your life, do them. Map out a life path, give yourself flags to collect at every stop. Only by seeing a tangible future (no matter how big or how small) you will find yourself there. 

Ideas for life mapping:

Write it down. 

Mark down what you see yourself doing right now. Look for the gaps of mini posts that you can squeeze the WANTS into. Little by little a perfectly mapped mini future will rise in front of you, one thing I can guarantee is that as soon as you see this shopping list in full tangibility, it'll start to take shape. That's a sneaky subconscious for you. 

Vision boards.

Some of us are visual creatures. Not text planners, lists can give some of us that hyperventilation sensation. Start with a simple reassessing of goals, values and dig deep into "if I could live life anyway I could, without the monitory stress, how would I live?". Dig out those magazines and grab at pictures and words that make you feel like you, that give you that rush of an open window before a storm. Place them on a board and feel your subconscious respond to a life you have just created. Look at it everyday and soon enough, well, you'll see. 

I think that the bottom line is, stop being so frustrated with the thought of your future. It hasn't happened yet. And I bet, Future you is going to be pretty stoked how it all turned out. 

For more information about vision board classes go to: Heilahealth. co.za to book a class. It's really quite a fun way to spend a morning.