Questions - Day 60 (about)

There is something out there.

I wake up every morning, stretch and slip into a wonder of something close but yet unattainable.
The first question I ask myself is never a surprise, "What's for breakfast?"
The second is a little scary, "How am I going to make today matter?"
The third, is a statement disguised as a question. "Get up, don't press snooze, go run(?), now."

Squished between the reality of my life is a niggling quest of a question. Often ignored and put aside in the "Post-it" section of my brain. To do's later, I'll get around to it tomorrow's.
Tomorrow was 365 days ago.
There is less than 10 hours to go in today and nope, nothing quite life changing has surfaced.

Do expectations drive our purpose? 
We get a job, we are expected to behave in a manner of conduct, we quit our job. We live without purpose until we give way to stability and arrive back at the register to sign ourselves back into expectation. Because living a life we want, is beyond what we are expected and that's just silly, right?

What defines happiness?
I recently got questioned for my ultra positive personality. What makes ME so happy ALL THE TIME? Life does. A shift that if I find that sparkle and write my name in the sky it will never dull. I can't explain it - it's just happened. Wiki says, "Philosophers and religious thinkers often define happiness in terms of living a good life, or flourishing, rather than simply as an emotion."
Can't fault them there.

What drives a million dollar idea? 
I heard a statement once. "Everyone will have at least three million dollar ideas in their lifetime." The other morning I woke up with an euphoric emotion. I seriously had a million dollar idea. I was going to be rich, I was going to be famous, I was, I was, I was… and then the 3 F's appeared:
Faith, Fear and Failure.
I put down my pen and closed the door.
Don't wag your finger at me.
I believe a synonymous moment, injected with a spark of genius, and a clock on the right hand, is what generates a pipe dream into an employed vacation.
All actionable by determination. Obvies.

These challenging prods make up the russian roulette in my brain. Circling like a Sharknado, unable to synergise into my life map.

I know one day after spending all this time grabbing at the short straws, I'll get my hands on the long one.

"HAH! Got it!" and turn around and tell you guys, "I told you so."

But right now, today, I could just let it pass. This quest to awesomeness that I chase daily is getting a little exhausting.