Questions - Day 60 (about)

There is something out there.

I wake up every morning, stretch and slip into a wonder of something close but yet unattainable.
The first question I ask myself is never a surprise, "What's for breakfast?"
The second is a little scary, "How am I going to make today matter?"
The third, is a statement disguised as a question. "Get up, don't press snooze, go run(?), now."

Squished between the reality of my life is a niggling quest of a question. Often ignored and put aside in the "Post-it" section of my brain. To do's later, I'll get around to it tomorrow's.
Tomorrow was 365 days ago.
There is less than 10 hours to go in today and nope, nothing quite life changing has surfaced.

Do expectations drive our purpose? 
We get a job, we are expected to behave in a manner of conduct, we quit our job. We live without purpose until we give way to stability and arrive back at the register to sign ourselves back into expectation. Because living a life we want, is beyond what we are expected and that's just silly, right?

What defines happiness?
I recently got questioned for my ultra positive personality. What makes ME so happy ALL THE TIME? Life does. A shift that if I find that sparkle and write my name in the sky it will never dull. I can't explain it - it's just happened. Wiki says, "Philosophers and religious thinkers often define happiness in terms of living a good life, or flourishing, rather than simply as an emotion."
Can't fault them there.

What drives a million dollar idea? 
I heard a statement once. "Everyone will have at least three million dollar ideas in their lifetime." The other morning I woke up with an euphoric emotion. I seriously had a million dollar idea. I was going to be rich, I was going to be famous, I was, I was, I was… and then the 3 F's appeared:
Faith, Fear and Failure.
I put down my pen and closed the door.
Don't wag your finger at me.
I believe a synonymous moment, injected with a spark of genius, and a clock on the right hand, is what generates a pipe dream into an employed vacation.
All actionable by determination. Obvies.

These challenging prods make up the russian roulette in my brain. Circling like a Sharknado, unable to synergise into my life map.

I know one day after spending all this time grabbing at the short straws, I'll get my hands on the long one.

"HAH! Got it!" and turn around and tell you guys, "I told you so."

But right now, today, I could just let it pass. This quest to awesomeness that I chase daily is getting a little exhausting.

I got it from my mama

You don’t truly appreciate your mom until you reach that age of true self-reflection. It’s not an age per se but a turning point in your life when you can look at yourself and see your mothers strength, compassion, will and determination inside of you. It’s those days you go without speaking, or a happy happening that makes you turn around and realise, all you want to say is: “I love you mom, thank you”.

This daily dears is a post about what my mother has taught me, through all the kicking and screaming I think I finally understand why the lessons she threw at me now make sense.

Gratitude
Count your blessings every night before you go to bed. List the laughs and good times from the tips of your toes to the clouds above. In a moment of sadness or when grief fills your heart, count. Watch the good, give the hand to the bad and see yourself weightless.

Manifest
If you don’t ask, you shall not receive. The universe is an AMAZING (yes, I’ll shout this one) void of gifts. Every worry, self doubt, complicated thought is heard. And it’s not what you want it to hear. Think big, feel what you want in this world, from a new pair of slips slops to a shiny new car. The universe is listening, it’s just figuring out a way to get it to you without being so obvious.

Listen
This is a classic mother moment for me, “Listen to your body, Jemma”. Being a rebellious teenager the last thing you want to do is figure out the wrong from the right. The peer pressure path is being lead and you want to follow. Stop. We are born with a super power called Intuition, use it. Just because your BFF is clip clopping down a diamond path doesn’t mean you are wearing the same shoes. Ask yourself: Does this feel right? Will it make a difference to my life? And most of all is this experience going to grow me?

Shine
Everyday the sun rises with the same shine, the clouds might get in her the way or wind might dull her warmth but without fault, she rises again to face another day as brightly as before. It’s not your clothes, your fancy hair-do or your Sensodyne smile that people notice, it’s the light that shines from within. Step out into everyday with a sparkle, there will be cloudy moments and windy days but as long as you keep that light burning bright you’ll make it through.

Be Mindful
Everyone is trying to find a purpose to their day; it’s not your place to be sticking your nose into their business. Us peeps are complicated creatures; we all have our own way of going about our daily scrabble. If you don’t like the way someone is doing something, mush. Don’t interfere. Respect thy neighbour’s space and practise the same manners in which they treat you. Return what is borrowed and, “For God’s sake child, leave the space in which you found it.”

Stay Positive
Be a plus not a minus. Every little thing in life happens for a reason. You have heard it a gazillion trillion times, and that’s why, because it’s true. If you can do at least one great thing in your day, it’s a good day. No matter what stresses, worries, (warts and all) consume your martyred soul – find delight in a piece of cake or a stranger’s smile. Life is way to short dwell in self-pity.

I love you Mom, Thank you.